It is freezing here, so i love scarves and layering right now. I love the pale look with light blonde hair and dark glasses. So classic. I love the scarf, the colors and everything. Love hot coffee in the winter as well!
I was watching Oprah today. It was on spirituality 101. The whole program completely intrigued me. I am not exactly sure at this point how i can become spiritual, but i feel that if i found something inside myself that could balance my life out i'm all for it. I've started reading a new book. It is called Awakening to you life's purpose by Eckhart Tolle. Here are a few words from the book that really opened my eyes. Wanting is structural, so no amount of content can provide lasting fulfillment as long as the mental structure remains in place. Intense wanting that has no specific object can often be found in the still developing brain, some of whom are in a permanent state of negativity and dissatisfaction. Most egos have conflicting wants. They want different things at different times or may not even know what they want except that they don't want what is: the present moment. I thought that i had already realized that the reason i was constently dreaming of my future was because of the unhappiness i had in the moment. I hadn't taken into account that my excessive wants tied into this too. The way i thought of it was i was wanting to constently change my "look". In reality, the reason i am always wanting new clothes and wanting to change my hair color is because i am not happy with myself. I am never satisfied with myself. It has nothing to do with what i look like. It is what is inside. There is something in me that i am not happy with. I need to discover what that is. At this moment, i can not. I am not fulfilling all that i can be, and i realize that now. So, i am going to keep on reading this book, it makes me think and i like that. I've never realized i like to think in an abnormal way, but i quite enjoy it. Here's to reading, and finding a new spirituality.. i guess. Cheers!
I am in love with this picture. I love everything. The off the shoulder shirt, it gives a effortless feel. Next, the top hat. It gives it an edge and twist that makes the outfit different from others. The print of the scarf is genius, and would make any simple t-shirt looks much better. Her hair is also genius, the color and the simple beach waves, that again gives it the effortless feel.
As i was going on with the day with my usual irritations and happiness i started thinking. Someone can't give you offence, or give you irritation. In actuality, things come from within. One could say, you offend yourself. Becoming offended, irritated, angry, or annoyed is a choice. No one has that kind of power over you.
I had trouble realizing this for the first 17 years of my life. I didn't realize my reactions were choices. I was at the whim of things i'd been conditioned to believe. If someone said something negative about me, i would react with anger. It was never a concious choice for me.
But now i know. And therefor i bring reality that my reactions are all choices.
And now, i try and react in a way that will bring peace and minimize the conflicts and drama it brings me, and the world around me.
I thought i could do an inspiration picture of the day. I pretty much stare at pictures of people and their clothing all day long. So, i thought i would post the picture that has stuck in my mind for that day.
In this picture, i love the pop of color with the converse, but the sophisticated feel of the whole outfit. Also, i'm currently obsessed with sweaters that have big arms like in the picture.
I have relized a lot lately that i am living in the future. I guess you could say i am happy right now in my life, but i feel like i bring my happiness from what my life will be like in the future. Everyday my mind is constently running with ideas of what my own apartment will look like, how i would decorate it. How i will dress and look when i am on my own. For some reason i can't focus on what is going on in my life right now. I can only focus on what will be going on in my life. My dreams of what my life will be like are so detailed. From what will wear, to who my friends will be and the lifestyle i will live. I have been thinking of the reason of this and what i have come up with is, i am not truly happy with my life right now. I figure it is a way to cope with what is going on in my life. All of the stress and sadness, i bottle it in and think of how great my life will be in a matter of years. My fear is, what if my life is nothing like i dream of it to be? If my life doesn't turn out the way i dream, will i be completely unhappy and disatisfied? I worry that my life will go on without me. If i keep dreaming of what will be, what if i never get out of that dream? If in a year or so, i am in the same place i am now. The more i think about it, the more i am afraid. Of course, my mind just goes to nah, i will be happy then. The question is, why can't i be happy now?
Like i said in my previous post, i am contemplating where to go in my life. In the past months, i have been deeply thinking about opening an online boutique. I love clothes and have this little dream in my head. Here it goes: Waking up in the morning with a cup of hot coffe, opening my french doors to the backyard. My dog running outside to go play. Walk out to the living room and have racks of clothing everywhere. Getting on my cute little macbook computer and checking all of my orders i recieved for the day before. Packing up all the clothes in shipping boxes, getting dressed grab the dog and off to the post office. I have all of these dreams all little details of what the store would be. I could add cute little touches to my packaging or to the online store that would make my store different then others. There is always something in the back of my head. What if it all fails? All of my dreams just ruined? I keep telling myself that i could make it work. If i had to determination i could make it work, right? I'm not sure. So here my question goes again, what should i actually do? Follow my dreams and hope it works out? Well, here is to dreaming.